If you love gathering with friends and are into personal growth, starting a dream group will be your jam! It is a fun and meaningful way to meet both needs. In a supportive circle where you and your peers learn what your dreams reveal about your life, you will feel enriched, whole, and peaceful. Here are some steps and guidelines for creating and maintaining the perfect dream group.
But first, what is a dream group?
A dream group consists of trusted peers who take turns sharing a dream and then getting observations from the group.
I say trusted because, as Tess Castleman writes in “Sacred Dream Circles,” dreams reveal deep seated unconscious material. “The new material, as well as the one who dreams it, must be cared for like a green shoot on the first day of spring,” she writes.
Thus, respecting and caring for the vulnerability of the dreamer is a must if one is to assist the other in bringing to light the messages from within.
Usually made up of just a handful of people, friends take turns sharing a dream and any thoughts and feelings associated upon waking. They discuss their own interpretation of it.
Then, via going around the group, others share their interpretation or suggest insights and meaning. There are several established approaches to dream groups. All of them include this process of attending to one dreamer at a time and fleshing out feedback.
Here are a few popular ones.
The Jungian Approach
Carl Jung, pioneering psychiatrist of the 20th century, regarded dreams as unfiltered truth tellers. Dreams helped individuals regain wholeness when the conscious mind has wandered far from its core identity.
As tools of the psyche to assist oneself to continually align in mind, body, and feelings, dreams are crucial for self-actualizing. Through the use of symbols, dreams reflect to the dreamer a true mirror of our self and we only had to learn to understand their language.
Jung’s work jived around the process of individuation and many Jungians warn against dream groups as it could be fodder for “psychic infection”, where poor boundaries of the attendees could cause one’s issues to spread over the group.
However, with proper care in the choosing of members, keeping it small, and following the rules of the session, dream groups are seen as a productive and spiritually connective event.
In them, a facilitator kept people from behaving co-dependently or as advisors to one another.
The Gestalt Approach
Gestalt therapy was developed in Austria and Germany in the early 20th century. Gestalt means a way a thing is put together; the sum is greater than the parts. Dreams are representations of unintegrated parts of ourselves and offer the chance to incorporate them into our personality in search of wholeness.
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It is often referred to as the somatic approach because dreamers are encouraged to act out the dream through movement. The dream is told in the first-person present as if it’s happening at the very moment. They get into the ‘role’ of the characters of the dream and talk about the feelings associated with each. Playing like this can help one can emerge with good insight into the unresolved thoughts and feelings deep within.
The Delaney Approach
Dr. Gayle Delaney studied Jungian psychology and was disappointed with what she saw as a ‘rigidity or the vagueness of these methods of interpreting dreams.’ She found they were sometimes filled with dogmatism or superstition. Delaney developed The Dream Interview Method whereby dreams and their symbols are used to problem solve areas of the dreamers life with a dialogue between dreamer and listener in a very practical sense.
Dreams are commentary on our lives. The interviewer pretends they are from another planet, asking what the dream images are like to the dreamer in order to evoke descriptions of them. Staying out of the way by not interpreting or jumping to define things, all the insight is generated by the dreamer herself. One may wonder whether there’s any rhyme or reason to dreams at all. Let’s explore the language of dreams and how they talk to us and keys for starting a dream group.
Do Dreams Even Matter?
Yes, yes yes, dreams matter. Despite the fact that most people cannot recall their dreams and are generally puzzled by their weird storytelling, dreams really do have something to say to you. They aren’t just mind fluff of the night for our unconscious entertainment. Delaney explains that when we sleep, our linguistic mind turns off, thus the reason for odd imagery.
Feelings, perceptions, situations, and even foresight are nested within dreams that when properly examined can assist in navigating real life. They are unfiltered thoughts but encoded by the nature of the sleeping brain, wisdom morphed into direct symbolism. With patience and attention, studying dreams will help you in a very practical way. To maintain a flowing dream group circle, structures must be abided by. Let’s explore how to share in the group.
Guidelines for the Dreamer
When it is your turn to share a dream it helps to have written it down, listing poignant images. Close your eyes and quiet your mind to get into the dream. Speak from that place. Try not to interpret it as you go along. Recount its storyline, mentioning characters, themes, plots, and images, emotions and first impressions upon waking. Keep it brief, as everyone else needs time to share.
Notice if any insights come to you about what the dream means. Feel free to share a real-life situation or internal process you think it’s touching on. Jot down any ah-ha’s triggered. It’s important to not over-share personal problems or be long-winded. This is not a personal therapy session. Having boundaries on time is key to everyone feeling they’ve had a voice in the group. If you get emotional, mention it and write down what you’re feeling. Ask if it’s ok to talk about it. Next, get ready for feedback from the group.
Group feedback for the dreamer
Priority number one for responding to a dreamer’s dream is to phrase any feedback with, “If this were my dream,” or “For me that symbol makes me think of…”. This prefacing allows space for the dreamer to consider the feedback without feeling advised or analyzed. It respects the dreamer, letting them weigh whether it touches upon truth. Otherwise, if everyone said, “That symbol means such and such,” or “I think the dream is telling you…” the dreamer may feel taken out of their felt sense of the dream and into the others viewpoints, not their own.
When offering feedback, know that this is your opinion. Do not give advice. Following this rule will stave off anyone feeling bossed out of their own dream. Don’t turn the tide toward yourself; it’s the dreamer’s time for attention, not yours. If their dream triggered something for you, write it down or ask to share it when it’s your turn. After the feedback, ask the dreamer if any of it resonated. Be gracious and don’t take it personally if not. Just like the dreamer, keep it brief. Now, let’s touch upon why sharing is so awesome!
The Benefits of Starting a Dream Group
One benefit of starting a dream group is that it can evoke new perspectives for the dreamer. It reflects back parts of the dream the dreamer overlooked or ignored. Every so often the group will point out ways a dreamer phrased something that seemed so blatant but somehow the dreamer missed.
For instance, I recently dreamed that I was forced on stage to perform in front of judges. It wasn’t until someone’s feedback that I realized in my waking life I felt I was performing a role for others sake and felt angry. The insight helped me address my emotions around motherhood and work. Valuable stuff can go on in these groups and this is why starting one is such a fabulous idea!
Maintaining group structure is key to a vibrant and healthy dream group. So finally, let’s look at how a facilitator supports this.
Facilitating a dream group
The facilitator keeps dreamers constrained to a time limit so that everyone has a turn. They remind members of the rules for offering feedback to the dreamer. Calling the group to start and helping a long-winded talker wrap up are two main jobs for them. While creating a nice flow and rhythm of the session, they also watch for psychological boundaries being crossed. Without a dedicated facilitator who will kindly enforce the rules of the group, you risk people inadvertently hurting others.
Choose a new facilitator for each week, giving everyone a chance to bring their own flair to the role. This way, no one feels like there’s a leader calling all the shots. Have a bell or drum to signify when it’s time to begin. Most importantly, keep the time and speak with respect and sensitivity. People are sharing personal stuff so if you have to interrupt them to mind the time, do so with care!
The Outcome
Starting dream group will make you laugh, feel seen, heard, and even cry. You will feel a sense of meaning and connection and a deeper intuition of what your own perfect dreams are telling you. You may even find life becomes more synchronistic, more connected, as you are in touch with the wisdom within. Take one of the above approaches or blend your own but always heed the advice above in the guidelines and have fun!