I’ve come to the realization that I have to aim at a dream or else I’ll die unhappy on some level. There’s a word out there, daemon, that psychologist Carl Jung described as your inner guide for your motivations and passions. In essence, it means when one doesn’t utilize the callings of this daemon, it can turn into a demon, or become a source of unhappiness and unfulfillment.
I’ve had the calling to be a writer for as long as I can remember. But I’ve not given it serious thought. I daydream about it constantly but the voice of self-doubt always has won over acting on the dream. A true suffering from a major virus of “That can’t happen for you. You can’t make your dreams come true.”
Starting blogging is my antidote. At least if I try I feel like I’m working on a dream and that satisfies the creative itch.
But it took a leap, taking on blogging. Here’s what happened.
You might also like:
The Moment of Change to Blogging
During the pandemic, I lost my small house cleaning business. Luckily I had my partner, who, working in tech, had job security. That was when I took courses in web development and design. A year and half later, I got a job as a Product Support Specialist at a software development company. I thought I was on the path to fulfilling a need for job security and a higher income.
But… I was deeply unhappy. I hated the rigidity of an 8-5 schedule and of having to tell everyone when I was using the bathroom so that they’d know why I wasn’t taking calls!
And most of all, I hated having my little one in daycare 45 hours a week. I hated not being available to my teen– taking him home from school- and that home-cooked dinners went by the wayside (not to mention the explosion of weeds in our yard!). Ever feel like that?? Like your true self is being sat on by this false self trying to fit into a world that doesn’t match your tempo?
I know I’m lucky to have such opportunities. Yet, I also know that the hustle bustle pressure life of being a full time career woman and a mom isn’t for me. And that’s ok!
I’d sit in that office chair at the desk job (packing on the pounds!) weighing the pros and cons of staying or leaving the job. It was an experience I needed to see with crystal clarity just how important my time was. How important my family and children were, and how loud that calling to write and do my own thing was.
Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash
Learning to Fail Upwards
So here I am aiming at a dream. Maybe blogging too will be a failure but I am going to throw my all into this knowing that it can take a few years to even become income-viable. But I know that what I dream about is a perfect example of what I need in life.
That living my dream life means making a living doing what I love: writing and sharing with others, hearing your stories. Experts say that Finding Your Why for doing something hard, for reminding yourself of that why when the going gets tough, is key to achieving anything.
My Why is family. Time. Having the freedom to make my own schedule and be available to help loved ones and to take care of them. How have you aimed at a dream? What is your why? I may fail but I will keep trying and fail upwards. I hope you do to and go for that dream.