Self-reflection is more than just a key to personal transformation; it’s a spiritual lifeline. Without it, we’re like a plane spiraling out of control, possibly landing on solid life-ground, but more likely stumbling through our existence on autopilot. This lack of self-awareness blocks us from realizing our dreams, forging meaningful relationships, or building genuine confidence.
Take my story, for example. At 21, I left Ohio for California, chasing spiritual growth and new lifestyles. Fun as this eye-opening nomadic adventure was, it confronted me with a startling truth: I didn’t really know how to think! It sounds strange, considering humans are the ‘thinking species,’ but it was true for me. My Catholic upbringing had offered only sporadic introspection – confessions to male priests and high school essays.
Yet, the deeper, more active contemplation of life, needs, and desires was foreign to me. Perhaps that’s the naivety of youth. I remember when I left town, my father gave me a book, “As a Woman Thinkith, so Her Garden Grows” (he’s a big hippie!). Even doing that was a struggle as I was a highly emotional young woman struggling with depression that I tried hard to hide. It took years to unravel the repressed self laying beneath the mental health issue.
Contemplation is the practice of being fully present—in heart, mind, and body—to what is in a way that allows you to creatively respond and work toward what could be.
Richard rohr
Journaling helped me self-reflect and gain insight into the grander motivations of my emotional reactions and behaviors. It was empowering; for there in that awareness was space to create new ideas about who I was and produce more rewarding actions that got me closer to what I wanted in life. There was a lot of “faking it till I made it” going on in the beginning! But the alternative, not thinking critically and creatively about myself, deeply left me easily manipulated, misguided, and worse, taken advantage of.
Can you relate?
Join me in exploring this crucial tool for self-development and delve into the riches that self-reflection offers. By looking into our soul’s mirror and polishing it, we might just discover a more marvelous version of ourselves looking back at us.
What Is the Core of Self-Reflection?
Opening the doors to the inner self is exhilarating and intimidating. You may see a reflection you’re not proud of. Or, what you see may be distorted from unaddressed childhood labels and self-esteem issues. But as mentioned, learning to navigate our inner world is transformative- if we develop a kind relationship to it. It equips us with a sharper inner compass, one that could save us from toxic relationships– or our own dark sides.
Richard Rohr, popular Franciscan priest and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation, says, “Contemplation is the practice of being fully present—in heart, mind, and body—to what is in a way that allows you to creatively respond and work toward what could be.” In other words, to BE ALIVE! Self-reflection helps us maintain connection to our deeply rooted, complex inner worlds while remaining in our present reality. The inner world gives dimension to our “outer” existence.
Furthermore, Carl Jung, 20th century great mystic and psychologist, proports that for a human to achieve a true holistic potential of self and a fulfilling life, one must go deeper than the conscious level of being. When we do so, we capture the true spirit of ourselves and stimulate our unique life-force energy within. When we engage in a curious way with our soul’s darkness, light, and myriad of dreams and aspirations, something magical happens: we feel fueled with inspiration, psychological unity, and gain clarity of our life purpose.
“Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl jung
Self-reflection is deep stuff! Not every session has to be so enlightening, but the practice of it certainly will get you closer to the higher self within you longing to shine brighter. Next, some potent questions to get started with.
19 Questions to Ask Yourself in Self-Reflection
The following questions are over-arching. They are more for big life picture reflections. After that are questions geared toward weekly check-ins.
- What are my core values and am I living in a way that aligns with them?
- What brings me genuine joy and fulfillment?
- What are the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the past year?
- How do I handle stress and adversity, and can I improve in this area?
- What fears are holding me back from achieving my goals?
- In what ways have I grown in the last five years?
- What does success mean to me, and am I actively pursuing it?
- How do my thoughts and actions impact those around me?
- What unresolved issues from my past are still affecting me today?
- What am I most grateful for in my life right now?
- How do I express love and kindness to myself and others?
- What are my strengths and how can I use them more effectively?
- What negative patterns or habits do I need to break?
- What does my ideal life look like, and what steps am I taking to achieve it?
- How do I deal with change, and can I become more adaptable?
- What are the most significant relationships in my life, and how do I nurture them?
- What am I passionate about, and am I dedicating enough time to it?
- How do I practice self-care and maintain my mental and physical health?
- What legacy do I want to leave behind, and how am I working towards that?
7 Weekly Check-In Questions:
Utilize these questions in your journal on a weekly basis to stay in touch with the larger life questions above. It’ll help you stay on track with your goals and inner creative impulse/self.
- What were my most significant achievements this week, and what did they teach me?
- How did I handle challenges and setbacks this week, and what could I have done differently?
- What were the key emotions I experienced this week, and what triggered them?
- Did I make progress towards my short-term goals this week, and what steps did I take?
- How well did I balance my personal and professional life this week?
- What am I grateful for from this past week, and why?
- What specific actions can I take next week to improve my well-being and productivity?
Finally, I’d like to wrap up this post by suggesting how you can enhance your looking inward with creating outer environments to hold space for you.
Impactful Ways to Structure Self-Reflection
It’s not enough to have a self-reflection one-off, though that can be temporarily beneficial. In order to enact personal transformation, you have to consistently check in with how your life’s going, take notes, and do the work to trudge on or course correct. I like to make interesting, nurturing, and even rewarding rituals around my dedicated moments for contemplation. What better way to make it stick than to tie to to pleasure?
For instance, you may love a hot bath with luxurious oils and candles- the whole diva works. Why not bring your journal with you and before you step in, do an entry about the ups, downs, and neutral moment of your week? Here’s some ideas to make this inner work more attractive to your daily life routines.
How To Make Your Contemplation More Enjoyable:
- Elevate with a Ritualistic Approach: Craft a serene and sacred atmosphere for your self-reflection sessions. Light aromatic candles, play tranquil music, and create a calming space that beckons introspection.
- Form a Reflective Circle: Establish a small, intimate group committed to self-reflection. This collective journey allows for sharing insights, providing mutual support, and benefiting from diverse perspectives, enriching the reflective experience. What better way to deepen relationships?
- Dedicate a Monthly Reflection Journal: Choose an especially pretty journal exclusively for monthly reflections. Use this space to distill your thoughts, emotions, and lessons learned, creating a powerful (and lovely) tool for tracking and understanding your personal evolution.
- Weekly Mood and Event Tracking: Maintain a daily record of your emotional states and key events. These can be bullet points. Review these entries weekly to uncover patterns and shifts, offering a deeper understanding of your emotional responses and life experiences.
- Select or Create a Reflective Sanctuary: Identify or design a tranquil spot in nature, your garden, or a cozy nook in your home. This dedicated space, imbued with peace and serenity, becomes your personal haven for deep contemplation. Hang sacred art, mandalas, or play soft music to help get you in the vibe.
- Express Through an Art Journal: Embrace creativity in your reflective practice by making an art journal. Whether it’s through drawing, painting, or collaging, artistic expression reveals deeper layers of your thoughts and emotions, beyond what words can capture.
- Integrate Meditation into Reflection: Enhance your self-reflection with a regular meditation practice. Meditation fosters mindfulness and clarity, deepening the insights gained during your reflective sessions. Check out the latest popular meditation apps, like Waking Up, to get started.
- Engage with a Therapist for Guided Reflections: Consider regular sessions with a therapist for structured and professional reflection. Their expertise can help you navigate complex thoughts and emotions, providing a more guided and insightful reflective journey.
Maybe you don’t need to fluff out your moments of contemplation but if you’re like me, these rituals or mood-setting preparations can help root this life-breathing practice into daily habits.
What To Do After You’ve Reflected
Delving into the depths of our souls can be an intense experience, often leaving us emotionally stirred or drained. It’s not uncommon to feel a sense of liberation, or conversely, as if you’ve unearthed heavier, shadowy aspects of yourself, sadness or anger. Such profound introspection can significantly alter your mood or even lead to temporary distraction.
Therefore, it’s important to have strategies for transitioning back to daily life, whether that involves heading to work, caring for a child, or catching a train for an evening out. These techniques ensure that you can smoothly shift from the realm of deep reflection to the practical demands of your everyday routine.
- Literally get up and shake it off. Stand, move your arms and legs, and so some stretching to ground back into the here and now.
- Write a quick paragraph about the here and now. Describe room you’re in, what you have to do that day, and any other facts of the moment. This will pull your thoughts right back to reality.
- Lay down and take a brief nap. This will reset your brain for the next moment.
- Do a word search or quick puzzle. When you reflect, you’re in your right brain. This will get your left-brain stimulated and bring you out of any residual emotionality.
- Finally, take a short walk in fresh air. Literally clear the air around you and switch gears. Walking on the Earth helps ground you.
It’s easy to get attached to states of mind that get aroused in moments of reverie and reflection. Take the lessons learned, observe the emotions, and then put some space between you and them so as to allow yourself to digest it all and let any answers or “next steps” properly arise from your subconscious.
13 Self-Reflection Quotes to Inspire You
With all that being said, I always find words from the wise inspiring for maintaining motivation towards personal growth. Here’s some of my favorite quotes about the power of self-reflection.
- “The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
- “The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” – Iyanla Vanzant
- “Reflection is the lamp of the heart. If it departs, the heart will have no light.” – Abdullah ibn Alawi al-Haddad
- “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.” – Lao Tzu
- “Without deep reflection, one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.” – Albert Einstein
- “The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.” – Thomas Carlyle
- “We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience.” – John Dewey
- “Mirrors are used to see the face; art is used to see the soul.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Self-reflection is the school of wisdom.” – Baltasar Gracian
- “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
- “The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss
- “Reflection on the infinite seems to call, almost by definition, for infinite reflection.” – Daniel Taylor
- “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” – Confucius
In Conclusion: The Power of Self-Reflection
In a nutshell, self-reflection is our secret weapon for personal greatness. It’s like a deep-sea dive into our soul, surfacing with treasures of self-awareness and inspiration. By regularly checking in with ourselves, we live more fully and authentically. So, how about you? What does self-reflection mean in your life? Share your thoughts and let’s dive into this conversation together! 🌟